On the brink of giving up
“I would get out if I were you. There’s no question. Your place will be under 2 feet of water when the hurricane hits…
I mean, if you don’t mind water inside the house, then stay. But you got a nice car there. You might want to get that thing on some jacks. The saltwater. Wreaks havoc on vehicles. See those people? (pointing at our next door neighbors with the obnoxious barking dogs) They’ll flood. And (pointing at our neighbors on the other side) they’ll flood, too. No question.”
Meet Greg.
Greg is our St. Augustine neighbor with the multi-colored poodle who has lived in Florida for over 20 years and claims to have been the high school baseball coach to Governor Ron DeSantis. A hell of a conspiracy theorist, chatting with Greg makes for a good chuckle.
But, today. Today I wasn’t laughing.
Not being from a place you tend to take a local’s word for it. So, for all his wild ideas, when Greg said “get out of here.”
We listened.
Hours of crying into my phone. Desperately reading weather reports. Scanning for hurricane-free Airbnbs within driving distance. Talking to my friend who’s a pilot with a more advanced weather app. To my mother who is my earliest consoler.
Finally, we found a place to escape to. Back in Charleston.
So, for the 2nd time in our 5 weeks we are bracing for a hurricane and wondering “what the hell are we doing here?”
I can’t deny it. I won’t even try.
Today (and yesterday. And possibly the day before that)…I want to give up.
I don’t want to keep doing this. This grand tour of America. This great adventure.
Instead of learning about America, I’m learning how not-fit I am to handle her.
Her tempestuous and life-altering weather conditions.
Her vast and freaky landscapes.
Her impoverished and garbage-laden streets.
Her Airbnb hosts who don’t bother to clean baseboards or get their HVAC systems serviced (honey, do you smell mold? Or is that just cat piss?)
Look, don’t get me wrong.
I am not ungrateful to be an American. I’m so grateful to have been born in this country. I’m just an American who has never spent an extensive amount of time outside the warm embrace of the temperate climate, upper-middle class, manicured-to-the-curb, bosom of suburban New Hampshire.
So, I’m an American who is trying to learn about America.
But God’s honest truth? The truth is I am really just learning about me. And, more often than not, I am learning just how sheltered and how soft I am.
It’s a hard pill to swallow.
Reaching the limits of one’s comfort zone always is.
Some days that pill gets stuck in the back of my throat for hours and hours. And when the conspiracy theorist neighbor says “get out of here!” it takes everything I have not to throw that pill right up into his sun-leathered face.
But, we have decided to press ahead.
It’s not over yet. There have been a lot of hard things on this trip. But that’s life. And life is hard.
And maybe. Just maybe. One day, I will be the sun-leathered neighbor with the back-up generator, artesian well, and wild theories about the government causing a hurricane, warning some wild-eyed outsider to “get out here!"
But, I’m still too pale. And still too soft. And I don’t have a house, let alone an artesian well. I’ve got miles to go and a lot more storms to weather before then.
Onward and upward (literally!). Next stop (again) Charleston. Oh, Charleston. My old friend.
—Lauren
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In this episode of Cupalo Conversations, host Lauren Hannon sits down with Jared Olhoft, a former U.S. Marine turned technology leader, to discuss his journey from military service to the tech industry. Jared shares how his experience in the Marines has profoundly shaped his leadership style, emphasizing the importance of self-discipline, continuous learning and the evolution of leadership from authoritarian approaches to more adaptive methods in the corporate world. The conversation covers key lessons from Jared's transition to civilian life, including the need to balance self-care with loyalty, the power of networking, and the value of stepping outside comfort zones.
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Sending a huge virtual hug....
You and Peter have all it takes to "weather" this, and anything else that challenges you. That I know to be true (you got that from your mom). I hope the bumps in the road dissipate, and all of the mishaps become nothing but a distant memory.
Just want to reiterate, Lauren, that you are such a thoughtful, introspective, funny writer! I find myself excited every time I see Cupalo in my inbox. And I equally love your podcasts!
Be safe out there.xx
I feel ya. We had grand plans when we sold all of our stuff and got a 1-way ticket to Europe.
We didn't even last to the end of the vacation visa that we were worried about bumping up against.
Moving from rental to rental was exhausting! And more went wrong than we anticipated.
It doesn't make your original decision-making wrong though.