Princess & the Pee Stain
There it was. Staring back at me. With its unmistakable faint gold color and its irregular circular shape.
A giant piss stain.
Right on the mattress.
Right on MY side of the mattress.
I’d love nothing more than to tell you that this is the very first piss-stained mattress I’ve slept on since we started this journey but that, my friend, would be a lie — and I never lie about a soiled mattress.
This would be my third. Yup — One. Two. Three. Beds a-soiled.
A photo snapped. A message sent. An Airbnb host unresponsive.
Same old story, different mattress.
With no other accommodations available, we stayed. I found a big white towel to lay over the culprit. Next, I made up the bed with their fitted sheet and then our sheets on top —yes, we brought our own sheets.
As I lay in bed that night, just three thin little layers of fabric between me and the remnants of someone’s incontinence, I burned with disgust. Not at the bed. Or at the unresponsiveness of the host.
But, honestly. I felt disgust at me.
Eight feet away, our two dogs slept on their very plush, very clean beds. Sans pee. Yup, no doubt about it. Our dogs’ sleeping arrangements were better. Far better. Than ours.
And, it hit me.
I struggle to admit my values and my standards. Even to myself.
In an effort to prove to myself (and probably everyone else) that I’m no diva - “I can handle tough things! A little mold in the fridge? Pee stained mattress? No prob, Bob! That’s what these Clorox wipes that I bought are for, amma right or amma right!”- I fail to readily admit what I really want/need.
For example, I know friends who celebrate their diva-like ways. You know the type! The I-Only-Sleep-On-1000-Thread-Count-Egyptian-Cotton-Sheets-While-Sipping-My-Glass-Of-Acqua-Panna-Still-Natural-Spring-Water-in-a-Glass-Bottle kind?
But, I couldn’t imagine doing that...and not because I don’t want to.
Look, this is not to say that there aren’t times that call for “settling for less” or “bucking up and taking one on the chin.”
But, I know I can handle those moments.
The truth is, I am not sure I can handle my wanting for more. Admitting what my values or standards are.
So, here it is.
My new hard thing is not dealing with the gross and the unkempt — I’ve got that in the bag. My new hard thing is accepting me and my values. No matter how silly they may be to someone else.
So…
If you find yourself struggling to embrace your wants, your needs, your inner Princess and the Pea, just think of the alternative.
The alternative being that you never admit what you want.
The alternative being that you never live a life you’re truly proud of.
The alternative being the…Princess and the PEE.
Sleep well, tonight, my friend. And don’t be afraid to really ask yourself what you want. What you want out of a mattress OR what you want out of tomorrow.
I know, I know. Easier said than done.
—Lauren
PS. I am happy to report that tonight’s sleeping arrangements are AMAZING!!! It met my standard, and then some.
Tonight I am sleeping better than my dogs : )
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